Step 4: Give Often, Be Compassionate, Love Intensely & Trust

Step 4:

Give Often, Be Compassionate, Love Intensely & Trust

This step is one with which we are all familiar.  There are tons of clichés that express this important step in personal and collective transformation.

So, why do so many of us limit our ability to give to fellow mankind?  Why do we make the choice of judgment over compassion? Why do we no longer trust our Higher Selves to provide for all of our needs?

These are important questions for each of us to ask ourselves.  In my view, the answer to why we limit our giving, compassion and willingness to trust in the Divine is because we have made the error of viewing ourselves as having separate lives with separate problems, needs, desires, etc.  We have also wrongly convinced ourselves that if we do not meddle in our lives and micromanage every detail, then, our needs and desires will not be provided.

In reality, we are all connected and we share One life as One Self.  In this One Life, all is available to all.  There is no shortage of anything we might desire or need in any given moment.  When we are able to truly surrender to the Divine, all of our needs and desires are provided.  The rub is we cannot be attached to having any thing, person, or outcome, and be in a receiving mode.  We simply express our desire and release it to the Divine in ourSelves.  In this release, we are thankful for whatever we receive knowing that it is for Our collective and “individual” higher good.  The more we can live from this place the more we can live in great health, love, abundance, peace and bliss.

The vibration of being loving, giving and compassionate is a healing one.  It essentially raises the energy level in our bodies to heal illnesses, diseases, etc.  It also creates any energy field that, if high enough, prevents illness and disease from developing.

The Medical Community is now conducting research that proves that love, compassion, and trust in the Divine (in each of us) are directly correlated with healing and wellness.  Below is a summary of just a few of these studies.

Impact of Creating Community and Loving Environment on Wellness

*Harvard Mastery Study (Russek, L and G. Schwartz. J of Behavioral Med, 1997; 20: 1-13.)

126 male students were evaluated and followed for 35 years Researchers assessed their relationships with their mother and father for the resulting impact on developing illness (heart disease, cancer, high blood pressure, ulcers, alcohol abuse, etc.)

- Bottom Line:  Those with warm, close relationships with their parent(s) had significantly less disease compared to those who had strained, less loving relationships

*Alameda County Study (Berkman L and Breslow L. “Healthy Ways of Living: The Alameda County Study”.  Oxford Press, 1983.)

17 year study of 7,000 men and women People who lacked social contact from friends, relatives, church, and social groups had a 3.1 times higher death rate This finding was independent of traditional risk factors: age, gender, race, self-reported health, smoking, overeating, exercise, and alcohol consumption

*Connection and Acquiring the Common Cold (Cohen S et al. JAMA. 1997; 277:1940-44)

276 healthy volunteers were given nasal drops containing the cold virus and were made sure to have contracted the virus They were queried on their social relationships

-Bottom Line: Those who had only a 3 out of 12 relationship score developed cold symptoms 4 times more frequently than those with a high score

Impact of Giving and Being Loving on Wellness

*Impact of Giving on One’s Health (Depner, CE and Ingersoll-Dayton. Psychology and Aging, 1988; 3: 348-57.)

A study evaluating 700 adults

-Bottom Line:  Those who offered love & support to others had fewer health issues

*Impact on Being of Help/Service on Alcoholism (Pagano et al. J of Studies On Alcohol, 2004.)

A study looking at individuals in 12 Step AA programs revealed that those who were “helpers” were 22% likely to relapse vs. 40% for “non-helpers”

Benefits in Trusting in a Higher Power

*Religious Strength/Comfort and Social Interaction Effect on Death After Heart Surgery (Oxman T et al. Psychosomatic Medicine, 1995, 57:5-15.)

This study followed 232 older patients 6 months after having heart surgery They were assessed as to whether their participation in organized groups and religious strength and comfort predicted death Of the 21 who died within 6 months, those not participating in groups and not deriving strength or comfort from religion were 3 times as likely to have died compared to those actively involved in groups Additionally, those who lacked both group participation and religious strength and comfort were even more likely to have died

-Bottom Line: this suggests that the more social contact, support received and perception of being supported by the patient helped the patient to have improved quality of life leading to improved survival

*Religious and Spiritual Involvement Impact on Health (Koneig, H, et al. JAMA, 2000; 284:1708)

Of 350 Studies, the majority of those who had religious involvement were physically healthier, lived healthier lifestyles and required less medical services

*Religious People Live Longer (Mueller, et al. Mayo Clinic Proc. 2001; 76:1225)

This study looked at 18 trials and those who had religious involvement lived longer

When we look at these studies on religion’s impact on wellness, in my view it is not about organized religion.  It is more significant that the person has a sense of connection with the Divine…however, that looks for each of us.

So, this simply scratches the surface of the data on the power of love, community, and trust in the Divine on healing and wellness.  If being well is our intention, it behooves us to start looking at what we are creating in our relationships with others and our Self.  The more love, compassion, and trust we can create in our lives the more healing can occur for everyone in our lives and the planet.

So, what kind of community and relationships are you creating?  Are there opportunities to love, be compassionate, trust ourothers higher selves to handle the details, and to create community?

How open is your heart?

With Love, Be Well.

Nayo Wills, M.D.